Rounding up

It was my first time experiencing that with you. Was something that I'd experience once in my life time but not if it's the relation is not serious. There was no doubt that our stories were sweet. The stories were real and it couldn't be more real than what it seems to be. Yet such sweetness I have given then have already become a double edged sword. I didn't know if I helped u or ruined you, and I think more likely that I ruined you. The memories and reminisces were so real that it seemed like yesterday. The complains and compliments that you said have sometimes given me an insight on how to become a better guy, or better person perhaps. Given a choice. I'd stay alone. I didn't want to hurt you. That's purely all my fault. I'd be glad that you dig my heart out to stifle my body from blood - because that's the one that had caused all these.

Indeed. Now that I am clear what my mind feels, I should not leave things dangling around. It is that it is impossible to get together. What makes love so prominent? I asked myself. There is no 10 years series answer to it. To me, it is how happy she becomes that matters. It comes to my attention that sometimes I might be overdoing some things, that I'm afraid might ruin their relationship. My purpose is to be there as a friend when she needs - that she won't feel sad, angry, lost and disappointed. Because to me, her smile means everything. I can't exactly explain why her smile matters so much. To keep it short, I'd do anything to see her smile. Her smile keeps me motivated and strong. To him, her smile must have meant much more than me. Maybe I might stop loving her one day - maybe i might never ... or maybe I would've died by then =). If there is a chance to die and protect u, I would because I'd rather not live without your presence.

It's time to study now.
the love is already embedded in my heart;
And Jolene made a comment: "Is there a paper on monday?" - god.
><

Was it a dream?

I hope that I have more time to do my work. It feels as if time has been flying really fast, so fast that I couldn't even catch a little of it.

Today, we were surprised that we lost to Meridian JC. It wasn't expected. I think that we 'dug' a hole out for ourselves when we start to be complacent. We could win Temasek JC, we could win CJC, but when it comes to MJC we just got stucked somewhere in the match. Though I did not get a chance to stand on the court to represent MI, I know they tried their best, and I wanted to give them my utmost support and help - as much as I could -. I also believe that it is only when a team lose a game, they will learn something from it, and they will become stronger the next time they meet with such challenges. Don't give up. Today's agony will become a strength for tomorrow's battle. =)

Can I cry? The best thing I can offer now is the moral support that I could give. On Friday, it's a momentous day, it decides our fate whether we are in or out. I don't want to leave any more disappointment. I don't want the team to be disappointed. I don't want the team to break up thereafter without a decent result. I love the team, and I truly mean it. The fate is in our hands. =)

People, I see miracles and I believe in hopes. A team must be united, an aim for what we want.

Jackie~

aftermath of ct

It's the 2nd day after common test. I could feel that the hall is filled with gloom and sadness. This morning, especially when some of them know their results, I just couldn't find a right word to describe how I was feeling. It is just 'not-right', not the right feeling that I felt when I entered the hall. I just allow myself to bid farewell to a friend of mine who had been battered by the common test. I knew he has the potential to do well the first day I met him. I wanted to encourage him to study and work hard. Yet, I just can't erase that pessimism in him. If I had known, I should have pushed him harder - at least there is still hope.

It is just merely 3 weeks away to A Division Basketball. I am feeling apprehensive towards the inaugural competition. It is an honor to be able to play for Millennia Institute! =D I believe we will be able to soar high, however we must remain humble at all moment. We shall not let the chance passby this year, it's a good lot this year and we shall take it all out. We are a team of MI who will make a difference this year. We will.

If that's the case, I will have to work doubly hard so that I do not neglect my studies. On top of that, I still have to revise on my O level English so that I will pass it without fail. Hiro, right? =)

jack and the ct

Today marks the end of Common Test. Of which it might be the last test for some or a new guage for people to look at. The Common Test is a wonder. If it can be used to determine whether one should proceed or retain, why should one who has just passed on the brim of passing mark continue? Would it harm them or help them instead? How is MI going to help them? My sceptism remains untouched.

After a chat with Zoe yesterday, I realised that it is me who is causing all the unnecessary troubles to people. If hadn't been a dinner with her, and her sister, I might continue to live through next few weeks or months without knowing what I had done. I couldn't have remembered all the moral values for there wasn't a dinner yesterday. How wonderful a friend can get when you feel so wretched in your life. Thank you very much. =)

The basketball team will never be as formed when you leave. Your presence will be sine qua non to every basketball match we play.

to see the rainbow i must endure this rain

Common Test seems so terrifying. I have not prepared well enough for it and I should face the music. If there isn't common test, I guess I am still not awake. Even if I am not prepared, I must try my very best. It is disappointing, not just to me, but is also a boon than a bain. Let the results decide.

Thanks Mommy! =)

Once there was a boy with an ambitious dream to change MI. He had lots of confidence and positiveness in him. He had never given up on anything that had disappointed him. He loved to socialise and talk about his life. There was nothing he couldn't speak about, there was nothing he lie about.

And now, it's time for him to reflect for what he had done. And that he is no longer the one he was before. He is pondering about himself. He is pondering why he had not taken the positive path and choose to suspect and make things so hard. Life to him now is no longer a challenge. Each day is just like an aimless day. He has no idea where he should walk. And all his dream once crashed again, just like how diminos do.

CNY

Today, a new year to start with through this economical crisis that has been troubling many of us, is a great a joyous day to start off the 1st day of CNY. Many of my friends used this occasion to send eccentric smses with "Niu" year, otherwise email.

Every year at this occasion it'll bring back reminisces of my childhood days, like not wanting to wake up in the morning to visit relatives, playing games(not very convenient to talk in details) with cards (or mahjong) and some sweat coating games like Basketball and Soccer. Nonetheless, even though I don't really do all these anymore, the younger cousins are more of like what we were back then. It's really wonderful.

Finally, time to wear new clothings and shoes out to pray "new year" - direct translation from chinese. It makes me feel more and more like an adult as years pass by. I didn't had much enthusiasm to get new clothings for my hungry wardrobe so probably the shirts that I wear would be some that's rarely been worn.

A belated Chinese New Year to all people! Don't forget to take Ang Baos as well as take utmost care for your body!

HAPPY NIU YEAR!